#sinner

Christmas Eve.

As I was checking my typically dry
social media outlets, I noticed that one
of my friends posted a tweet on Twitter,
followed by the hashtag of #sinner

It was a playful post of course.
Humorously calling someone a sinner
For a funny thing they had done.

But curiosity struck me.
I wonder what other people are saying on
Twitter about being a #sinner

And so I started to search all
posts that were hashtagged #sinner

Working at church and living in Texas,
my brain was inclined to anticipate tweets
about repentance. About regrets.
Or maybe even about humor.


In fact, I did see a silly one or two:

@_____ Gasp! You said butt. #sinner

And a handful of serious ones:

Honestly God has been faithful to me
but I've not been fair to him on my own part.
#sinner

I am a worshipper who doesn't worship
the only One who is worthy to be worshipped.
#needmercy #sinner #justifiedbygrace #WhiteAsSnow

**I'm so glad that God still hears a
#sinner'sprayer


But as I scrolled through the feed
of the past 24 hours worth of tweets
on Christmas Eve, my heart broke.
_________________________________

Thinking about getting a good
Christmas buzz going. Thank god we
don't go to church tomorrow morning.
#badcatholic #whocares #sinner

@_____ just don't burst into flames
upon entry into church...#sinner

Walked into church and it didn't
burst into flames #shocking #sinner

Well looks like I will be going into
midnight mass drunk :) #sinner

I wish it were politically acceptable
to go to church drunk..#sinner

It's official. I'm going to hell. I'm
pregaming for church. #fail #sinner

Drinking before church?.. I think so!
#sinner

Off to hell...er, I mean church.
#sinner

Church for the first time in forever..
Surprised I didn't burst into flames
#sinner

@______ hopefully you guys don't
burst into flames walking through the
church doors.. #sinner

I plan to be smashed by 8 tonight..
Midnight mass should be interesting
#sinner

First time I've been to church since Easter.
Surprised I didn't burst into flames when
I walked in the door #sinner

Bout to smoke a bowl so going to church
will be bearable #sinner

At church. Surprised I haven't started
on fire yet. #sinner

I go to church twice a year. Easter
and Christmas. And I dread it
everytime #sinner

Can't complain, I only go to church
once a year. #christmaseve I think
dear lord hates me still. #sinner

Thinking about going to church today
for the first time in years.
I hope it doesn't burn down. #sinner

Can't wait to sit in church...hungover.
#sinner

Guys, believe it or not I'm going to
church. I hope G-O-D don't strike
me down w/ thunderbolt #sinner

@______ I'm not cut out for church!
I don't even know if god will let me in
#sinner

Goin church, fingers crossed I don't
burst into a ball of flames
#anxiouss #sinner

@_______ been a year for me!
Only time I go is on Christmas eve
hahahaha #sinner

@_______ I can't believe my wife is
dragging me to church. How's the saying go?
#Sweating #Sinner #Church

Sometimes I don't care that I'm
going to hell cause that means
I don't have to be good anymore
#sinner

About to go to church :) I feel like
I always go to church right before
I know I'm about to sin #sinner

Yalls holiness makes me feel
uncomfortable. #sinner
_________________
(read that last one again.)

And there were many, many more.
But I couldn't even include some because
of their word content.
_________________

My heart broke,
Most of the tweets were about: Church.
A place where I spend countless hours a week at.

What are Christians doing to make
people think they're worthy of
"bursting into flames" when they walk
through the doors of a church?

Somwhere we've missed it.

There were 3 tweets of true recognition of sins.
A handful of tweets aiming to be funny.

But the rest were filled with brokeness.
Sarcasm against sin.
Sarcasm against the Church.
Anger against the Church.

And these aren't broken people
who aren't familiar with the vocabulary
of the saints. They know #sinning

And so the question isn't,
"What happens if these people come to my church?"

Instead,
"What happens when they come to my church?"

I don't want them to believe the church is a joke.
I don't want them to believe the church is a sect.
I want them to be welcomed.
To be safe.

Evidently,
Christians have made church
out to be a building for the holy.

Evidently,
We have made a tragic mistake.
______________

To the sinner:
You are relentlessly loved by a Father in heaven
who pursues you while you are yet a sinner.

To the saint:
What happens when the drunkard, the high,
the gay, the lesbian, the prostitute,
the rebel, the hateful, the athiest,
the sinful walk through your doors?

Change is needed.

The Church is not a warehouse of the righteous,
but a hospital for the #sinner


- of whom I am the worst.

Braden

[my beloved]

I received a writing assignment in class.
The question was simple.

Who is God?

The very thought of putting a definition
upon the Creator of all things
stirs a sense of uneasiness inside of me.

My mere words could never suffice.

If He was simple enough to describe in just a few paragraphs,
If He could be defined in just a few short lines,
then He couldn’t be a god worth serving.

However, there must be a beginning somewhere.

Genesis shows him as the Creator.

Revelation cites him as the Alpha and Omega,
the Beginning and the End.

In Exodus, God reveals himself as a jealous God.

He is the ultimate authority over good and evil.
He is a blameless God with perfect judgment.

He is the Trinity – the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit
who covers the universe with His glory.

He is uncontainable.
He is the I Am.


But who is God to mankind?
To me?

He is a God who inflicts righteous judgment
to a judging nation.

He is a God that condemns me in my boastfulness.

He is the giver of righteous wrath.

He is the deliverer of death.

He is the provider of life.

He is the omnipresent comforter
when a family member passes away.

He is a God who is jealous
for the affection of His people.

He is the hope, once in the form of flesh,
that I have in the forgiveness of my sins,
to be washed white as snow by the blood of His Son.

He is the confidence in my timid heart
to spread the Gospel that is love,
to an unbelieving population.

He extends grace when I am wicked,
and anoints me when I am undeserving.

He provides strength when I am weak,
and rest when I am weary.

He is the sum of everything
more beautiful than words can describe.

Indeed, the irony is that
God is indescribable.


So who are You God?

You're my beloved.



[braden]

currently listening to:
Always -Switchfoot-

[more than conquerors]

Have you ever been in the place,
That empty chasm,
Where self-hate seems to conquer?

Where you deem yourself
Not good enough.

Never good enough
For God?

Never quite that Christian
Everyone expects in you.

Not enough.


Me too.
Every.Single.Day.


And then I open up my Bible.
Wipe the dust off the long forgotten pages.

And I find myself in Romans 8.

“Who shall separate us
from the love of Christ?

Shall trouble, or hardship,
or persecution, or famine,
or nakedness, or danger,
or sword?”

The world looms over me.
Looms around me.
Dominate in my every move.
And I’m left admitting defeat to this place.
With no hope.
Separated from You.

But no.
This world won’t declare victory.

“No, in all these things
We are more than conquerors.”


No matter what I’ve done,
Nothing can separate Love.

The peculiar thing about Grace,
Is that it’s just as it is.
A gift that I don’t deserve.

Love.
Amazing.
Grace.

As I read over the
Past few blogs I’ve recorded.

I notice something.

Depression.
Sadness.
Sorrow.

And as I relive these feelings,
I realize,

Every single thing I felt,

Every thing I feel,
Stemmed from a feeling,
That I’ve been alone.

Isolation is the seed
Of Depression.


But we’re not alone.

We’ve never been alone.

You didn’t forsake me.
I’m the one who ran.

Ran to empty hopes.
Shattered promises.
False community.
Broken wells.

But You’ve been my shadow all along.
Gracefully picking up the pieces
I’ve left behind.

Pieces of me
I though had long since disappeared.
But You held them in Your hands.

You held me.

You hold me now.

___________________________________________

So what now?

What’s the next move?

Rejoication.

Yea.
I made that word up.
So what?

The process and state of rejoicing.

Because God’s here.

And what can separate Love?

“Neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth

Nor anything else in all creation
Will be able to separate us
From the love of God

That is Christ Jesus our Lord.”
[romans8.38&39]


Nothing can separate.
Because no matter what,

We are more than conquerors.



[braden]

currently listening to:
Healing in Your Hands -PassionWorshipBand-

[remade]

Let's start over.

Remember that one time?
That one particular moment?
Yea, forget it.
It doesn't matter anymore.

Come to me.

Let's start over.

Remember last night?
That one particular choice?
Yea, forget it.
It doesn't matter now.

Come to me,
all who are weary and burdened.

Let's start over.

Remember 5 minutes ago?
Remember who you were?
Yea, forget it.
It doesn't matter.

Come to me,
all who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.

You are more than the choices you've made.
You are more than the sum of your mistakes.
You are more than the problems you create.

You are more.

Come to me
All who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.

So let's start over.

Remember a moment ago?
Remember who you are?
Forget it.

You've been remade.

We've been remade.



[braden]

currently listening to:

You are More-TenthAvenueNorth-

[standing still]

It's been a while.

I'm not sure why.

Laziness?

Avoidance?

Probably both.

Every time I log on to this thing,

I feel like I need to conjure up

a huge, poetic, deep sentiment about my day.

And truth is,

nothing spontaneous,

or life changing,

or eye-opening

has really happened.

And truth is,

I haven't really been striving for

anything spontaneous,

or life changing,

or eye-opening.

So let's go back to the basics.

I've pretty much been on cruise control.

And I'm alright.

I'm alright.

But I'm not alright.

One word to describe this life,

stale.

Stale and unmotivated.

Sure, life's going right along,

and nothing's completely destroying me.

But this lukewarm life

might as well be ice cold.

But something's happening.

A little tug inside.

Just a tiny nudge.

Saying "This way."

But it gets easily drowned out.

There's too much noise here.

Too much now.

So right now,

I'm just standing still.

Saying everything's ok.

But dude...let's get real.

We got problems.

I've got problems.

And since when did we

start acting like we're perfect?

When did we decide that

Christianity has to be filled

with "perfect people?"

Cuz that's all I see.

That's all I am.

Because lookey here!

I'm a Christian and

I've got zero problems!

Life is just absolutely fantastic!

And I've got it all together!

Oh wait..

Yes I do...

No it's not..

And no I don't..

I think it's time to change.

But no.

Because right now,

I'm standing still.

Saying everything's ok.

[braden]

currently listening to:

Strong Enough to Save -Tenth Avenue North-

[The Silent Siege]

First off, let me stress that I know that people rightly have their own opinions.
Especially when it comes to the touchy subject such as Abortion.

But here is mine:

________________

Don't get me wrong.
I'm a firm believer in the sanctity of a human life,
but when I read about the "Silent Siege" movement,
It got me thinking...

Is silence what's really needed?
Is an hour-long visual stimulant really doing the job?
Sure, we get the message,
"Red tape to signify the silent cries of the unborn and of those with no voices."

But let's be honest.
In the most fragile time in a woman's life,
Is creating a human wall of silent protest
the best we can do?

Do these women need a barrel of injustice
pointed directly at their temple as
they walk into the 4 walls that change their life?
Do they need a wall of people
staring silently with hushed prayers?

Do not get me wrong,
I know prayer is a POWERFUL thing!
And faith in stepping out against such an injustice
is an abundantly beautiful thing!

But where did we miss it?

"Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

Silence isn't what we need.
We need action.

Don't lose your voice for those never heard.
Let words of friendship, compassion, and love
come flowing out as a spring.

Don't let your prayers be silenced.
Pray them into the hearts of these broken women.
Hold them. Embrace them. Love them.

Don't stare in silence from a distance at these women.
Entwine your hearts with theirs.
Show them the passion and love God has
for them and their child.

An actual friendship will scream louder
than any thousands of protestors could.

Don't be silent.
Act.

And in the words of Switchfoot:

"There is no sound,
louder than LOVE."

currently listening to:
The Sound -Switchfoot-

[the plank]

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust

in your brother's eye and pay no attention

to the plank in your own eye?

How can you say to to your brother,

'Let me take the speck out of your eye,'

when all the time there is a plank

in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of

your own eye, and then you will see

clearly to remove the speck from your

brother's eye."

[matthew 7.3-5]

It's been a while.

And I have been asked why my blogs have

not been kept to date.

That is why.

No cute words.

No fancy metaphors.

No trying to inspire people with pretty illustrations.

No acting like I'm deeply involved with my Creator right now.

Because I'm not.

And I'm not going to fake it.

"How can you say to your brother,

'Let me take the speck of of your eye,'

when all the time,

there is a plank in your own eye?"

I'm working on my plank.

I'm working on me.

Because I'm not alright.

And I'm not going to fake it.

[braden]

currently listening to:
[selah]